PANTS ON FIRE

"It's a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what."

- Gregory House MD

The inspiration behind this post is that I've been lied to countless times this month alone. While knowing stuff that people don't want you to know is fun most of the time. Having people you know lie to your face is insulting; 1) they think you're stupid enough to believe that 2) they think you don't deserve the truth.

I'm not saying I have never lied, but lying is the last resort. 

LYING DONTs:

1- Don't lie just for the sake of it. I know someone who have made up so many lies that they get mixed up with reality and their lies.

2- Don't lie to spare someone's feelings. Finding out that you lied hurts their feeling even more.

3- Don't lie to keep a secret. You're better off ignoring a person's questions.

4- Don't lie for someone else. Just say "it's not my secret/story/thing to tell."

5- Don't lie an elaborate lie. All the details will get jumbled up in your head, and it's pretty embarrassing to tell your own story the wrong way.

But, when it comes to other people how do you spot a liar?? Click here!

The truth will set you free... 

When I grow up...

I want to be Lily Van Der Woodsen Bass Humphrey!

Lily has always been my favorite character on Gossip Girl. Don't get me wrong I love Blair, Serena, Chuck et al, as much as anyone else would. But I've noticed that many girls idolize Blair. I believe all the aspire to is to be spoiled with a matching wardrobe.

While they want to be more like Blair, I want to be more like Lily. She is poised, polished, and smart.

Here's what makes Lily so great:

- She's had a number of divorces, the father of her children abandoned her, and her husband died (Bart Bass). She held her own and in the end she got together with the love of her life, Rufus.

- She chose Bart over Rufus in season one so her children would have a proper family and home.

- She is mother to Serena Van Der Woodsen. I think we all can agree that Serena is quite a handful.

- She adopted Chuck. And here's to thinking no one could ever love him (except for Blair).

- At one point, Lily ran Bass Industries - a multi-million dollar business.

- She was on house arrest, and dealt with it gracefully.



She did ALL that whilst looking her very best. Did I mention she owns an impressive collection of handbags?

21.

I remember when I was in high school, I dreamed of the day I turned 21.

And now its here...

I wouldn't say I changed a lot. But I think I've become a wiser, more mature, person who knows exactly who she is and what she wants from life - I even look prettier than I did four years ago!

A better version of myself - and let's face isn't that all what we want from age.

But still, there's so much more to learn! `

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." Abraham Lincoln

Toxic Waste

I have once said that some people are just toxic waste.

No one wants to be around toxic people or even to have a toxic friends. HOWEVER > In a survey by SELF magazine, 8 out of 10 people said they have endured a toxic friendship. What about you?

Do you have a toxic friend?

I think I've encountered my share of toxic people. Here's my very own guide on how to spot them.


1- Competition Crazed 
This friend seems to be always competing with you even when you don't know it. She competes for mutual friend's approval, academic/professional praise, and other people's attention. She almost never congratulates you on any job well done, and she will never share her accomplishments either - well only if she thinks they'll overshadow yours!
Most likely to say: "well if it weren't for you I would've gotten that...."
Most likely to do: Speak over you whenever you're telling people of your latest success no matter how small.



2- The Critic

Whenever you've got a new idea, this friend is the first one to tell you why and how it wouldn't work. If you talk about things you like, she's the one who's going to pin-point what is wrong with what you said. It doesn't stop there because to her everything about you is worth criticizing: hair, clothes, job, the way you talk.....  At first, you might think that she really knows better. However, with time you'll notice that no matter what you say or do she'll find faults in that. Some start doing this indirectly as a joke, others are vicious from the start.

Most likely to say:  "Oh a9lan....... [ACTUALLY]"

Most likely to do: Get annoyed (it shows) when they've got nothing to criticize or are proven wrong.

3- User Not-friendly!

She expects you to be a good friends, but doesn't expect that of herself. She might criticize you for something and expects you not be upset because as she says that's what good friends are for. Yet, come next week when she does something you criticize and she doesn't like it! She expects you to go out with her when she's free and you're not. However, next time she's busy she'll refuse to go out with you because of her "prior engagements". An extreme form of this type of friend will hang out with you when her other friends aren't available, but ditch you the moment they're there.Wake up! She's using you.

Most likely to say: "It's not that I didn't want to tell you.... but it was all very unexpected."

Most likely to do: Get mad at you for doing the same things she does.

4- Miss Green with Envy

She's the master of passive aggressiveness, especially when it's directed at you. You might say she's an extreme version of the competition crazed, but for her it's not only about the competition. She doesn't want to compete - she just wants it all for herself. She will compliment your clothes because she wants to know where you got them from. But other than that don't expect any more compliments. She often asks herself out loud: how come you get to have this or that and I don't. Believe me, it happened!

Most likely to say: "I wanted to something exactly like that! but I didn't/couldn't get it."

Most likely to do: Not tell/show you what she has been planning to do/wear/say - why? Psychologists call that projecting your own feelings upon others. This means she may genuinely believe you envy her too.

5- Gossip Girl (xoxo?)

This friends knows everything about everyone, and what she has to say isn't pretty. It's not about sharing harmless gossip, this is the kind of person who spills secrets and breaks promises. You might wonder what she says about you behind your back, because she probably is! Although past experiences and "tongue-slips" have taught you not trust her, somehow she manages to make you do!

Most likely to say: I won't tell anyone. Don't worry!!"

Most likely to do: Think who would want to know this piece of information and text them immediately. 

You might find these toxic qualities in a friend to some extent. Sometimes one or more of these can exist within one person. They are inspired by people I know and some by friends of friends I've heard about. Still this doesn't answer the question: what to do once you've spotted a toxic friend??

To be continued - How to deal with toxic waste?

Beginnings!

Every beginning is a result of an ending. And every ending means a new beginning. 

Beginnings can be exciting, intimidating, or even familiar. That's how I felt today familiar as my senior college year began. Nevertheless beginnings always signify hope and new promises. 

SODA ADDICTS 101

I think Soda addiction should be qualified as a real addiction. I used to drink coke (or other kinds of soda) ALL THE TIME. Everyday and almost everywhere. Almost 8 months ago I realized I had to stop because soda and carbonated drinks aren't HEALTHY. Why should I choose to be healthy, well take a look at the infographic below.

Anyways, Other the period of 8 months I crave coke/sodas only when I'm REALLY thirsty (like today) or when it's REALLY hot, like the days I have to drive back from classes at noon. So TIP#1: Always stay hydrated and cool. 


I have relapsed a few times; I had 2 glasses of 7UP (not on the same day), for some reason I think 7UP is little healthier than coke or so I tell myself. I also had a half a bottle of Oronomin C, which is an energy drink and 100x WORSE than regular soda. In all cases, I had those drinks because there was no other option. TIP#2: Try to always carry a bottle of water with you.I don't always do, but its very helpful, because if there's an alternative available I always choose the alternative.

I prefer cool water over room temperature. We always have water in our fridge along with juices.
TIP#3: You gotta love the JUICE! For those days when water seems to BORING, juices are a great alternative. All fruit juices are delicious especially with lots of ICE. Carrot juice is also good. My favorites are: Strawberry Juice, Mango Juice, Orange Juice, and Minty Lemonade.

I love those little juice bottles they have at the supermarket. Also juice packs are good too but I think they have more water and sugar than bottled juice.You can drink milk if you want too. I'm not a milk person, but I love milkshakes every now and then. Sometimes, when I'm at the movies I'd have a bottle of Snapple if possible. But I guess Snapple isn't really healthy with all the sugar and preservatives.

TIP#4: Some juices are too heavy to have alongside a meal or overpowering in flavor. I usually drink water when I'm eating, but sometimes in restaurants the water tastes a bit stale so I go for juice. I found watermelon juice to be the BEST juice to drink alongside a meal. It's light and doesn't have an overpowering after taste (like Mango or Orange juice). If watermelon juice isn't an option, I'd usually go for Lemonade or a Minty Lemonade. TIP#5: Always have juice with lots of ICE. It just tastes better I promise!

I think everyone has their own way of dealing with Soda addiction and finding the right alternatives for them. So I recommend trying different types of bottled water and juices because I believe the difference matters! As long as you find alternatives you love, you CAN stay away from soda FOREVER.



P.S. This post deals with cool drinks. As for hot drinks, I love coffee, tea, and Chai 7leeb (milky tea). I think I'm addicted to tea, but I still haven't found a way to deal with that yet!

DREAM JOB

For those of you who don't know me I'm a Communications & Media sciences student specializing in Integrated Strategic Communications (that's Marketing, PR & Advertising in simple English). I love my major, and I really hope that I'd end up doing that for a living. Not that I want to write press releases for the rest of my life... BUT ideally I'd love to have a marketing/PR/advertising job in the creative or cultural industries preferably using digital marketing/social media

Explaining what I want to do for a living has always been difficult. Up until I read exactly what I wanted to say all along in a website called Fashionably Marketing in an article entitled "Why the Fashion Industry Needs Talented Community Mangers" (read here).

So, I want to be a COMMUNITY MANAGER. It's the ultimate fusion of marketing and public relations! Being a community manager in the fashion industry (as specified in the article) would be GREAT, believe me I like my clothes and shoes as much as the next girl. But then again I wouldn't mind a job in other creative industries such as the fine arts, publishing,...

I think such a job would be challenging but in a good way! I also think I'll be great at it.

Don't believe me?

Hire me. I'll prove it.

Food for thought

Unsafe Journey. A woman is riding between the railway carriages of a local train heading north from Dhaka, the capital of Bangladesh. Her luggage is tucked under the carriage in front of her. It is the month of Ramadan, a fast which culminates in Eid-ul-Fitr, a three-day celebration. Tens of thousands of people leave the city to go to their home village and celebrate with their families. Trains are packed and many who fail to get tickets before they sell out or can't afford buying them at the black market ride on the roof of the train or, like this woman, finds a quiet spot between the carriages.

 Photo and caption by Amy Helene Johansson

Sitting at home on the comfy couch in front of the TV, I am a millions mile away from the world this photo was taken at. Still, my heart goes out to all the unfortunate. Spending time with our family and loved ones during Ramadan is something we take for granted. I feel so blessed to be able to see my family and friends almost everyday.

Lots of Love!

On Forgiveness

It's that time of year that when we're supposed to forgive while hoping others forgive us too. Our sins aren't completely erased until those we wronged on purpose or not have truly forgiven us. Mass messages asking forgiveness are sent, and  mass messages claiming forgiveness to all are sent too.

We try to forgive others hoping they too will forgive. But is it enough?

I don't think people really understand the concept of forgiving everyone. To tell you the truth, it is hard! Forgiving everyone means:
- Forgiving the people who talk about you behind your back.
- Forgiving that person who refused to give you way on the road.
- Forgiving those who didn't explain the assignment you missed.
- Forgiving that person who rudely shoved you rushing by in the mall.
- Forgiving that one person who always seems to have something mean to say.
- Forgiving that other person that deliberately tries to offend you.
- Forgiving every malicious thing said about you to you and behind your back.
- Forgiving those evil glances and snide remarks.
- Forgiving those close to you for not understanding.
- Forgiving all for how they made you feel.

It is HARD! I'm not the one to hold a grudge, but if you think about it have you really forgiven people or did you merely just forget.

Forgiving and Forgetting are too different things.

Test yourself: try and remember an encounter where someone had hurt you're feeling. Is there a tiny bit of hurt still there?? If so, you may have forgotten about it but you didn't forgive at least not completely.

I once heard that the stupid neither forgive nor forget, the naive forgive and forget, but the wise forgive but do not forget. And that forgiving is not forgetting, it's letting go of the hurt.

How can I achieve that? As I always I looked for hints in the words of wise people.

"You will know forgiveness has begun when you recall those who have hurt you and feel the power to wish them well." - Lewis B. Smuedes.

I think I am powerful enough.


To all those who have hurt me in a small or large way; now or in the past; knowingly or not... I FORGIVE YOU.

I forgive all of those I recall (and those who I don't) in every way, and I truly wish they all are leading a good healthy life.

I hope they get to read this. I also hope people who I've hurt intentionally and unintentionally find it in their heart to forgive me.

On a lighter note, if you're not motivated enough to forgive people:

"Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much." - Oscar Wilde

Anyways. there' still one more day to Ramadan by then Inshallah all our sins are to be erased by our newly acquired good deeds.

Filofax

I want one now! They're only available in Magrudy's. I still can't decide which color to get, although I must say this raspberry leather is looking pretty good!

WISE WORDS: On actions

"The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions."

 Confucius 551 - 479 BC (Chinese thinker and social philosopher)

We always hear and/or complain about those who talk BIG but do so little! We rarely ever talk about those who talk small but action-wise they exceed all expectations. Those people I think should be celebrated. Modesty is a virtue not many own. It is hard not to tell the whole world if what you can do. I think we should all strive to be modest when talking about yourself, and let your actions speak for themselves.

How to deal with evil people?

Don't you wish you can say to a person who's being mean to you or anyone else: "You are mean and rude and no one likes you!!!!" ?

Sometimes I wish I could. But I guess that's a contradiction. If you're against rudeness, it's pretty hypocritical to be rude even to rude mean people.

But, would they care? would it affect them somehow? or perhaps change them for the better?

I like to believe that no one is born evil. That there are things in life that makes people become evil, and that deep down everyone is a good person. But that doesn't explain wars, injustice, crime, and plain ol' mean people.

How do we deal with those completely impossible people?

I'm not thinking of someone in particular - I swear! - I just thought about this while watching a movie. So I decided to find some answers. Where? To the one place that knows the answer to life, the universe, and everything... Google!

We've all seen those movies, where one kind person is able to change an evil person back to good. Maybe that doesn't always work, but I guess some of these tips I found on this website could: Think Simple Now - Dealing with difficult people. There 15 tips, but I only chose the ones I think work best, and I included my thoughts on each one.

- Forgive them.
If you think like I do, something really terrible must have happened to them to make this way. Or perhaps that's the way their family communicates with them so that's how they communicate with people. Feel sorry for them, and then forgive them.

- Don't Respond. 
I guess some people think being aggressive and rude equals being a strong person or having a strong personality. I don't think so. I think it takes far more strength, to bite your tongue and not express a mean thought. No matter how much that person deserves it.

- Stop talking about it.
The more you obsess about it, and especially to other people, the more your feelings will grow. I think the best thing is to choose one person who won't judge for talking about it, say all you need to say about that person or incident, and then never talk about it again.

- Choose to Eliminate negative people in your life.
Random mean people are easier to ignore and never to speak of again. Some people you can't eliminate but I guess it is possible to limit your interactions to a hello and a goodbye, especially if they are family members. I think we all have that friend who seems to work so hard to make us feel bad. If that person is always like that in all circumstance, waiting for you to do or say something just to say something in opposition, you should eliminate them immediately. It is never ok to keep in touch with someone who makes you feel bad. However, some people can change. I think you can meet up with them after a while, and give them a second chance if you feel they truly have changed.

- Worst case scenario.
I never tried this before. I think sometimes you don't have a chance to think what's the worst thing that could happened if you did or did not respond to someone. But I definitely think it'll be useful in some situations.

- Pour honey.
This means whenever people "pour poison" on you i.e. say something mean or hurtful, choose to "pour honey" in return i.e. say something nice. I have tried this once. It works! For some people they change and they start being nice too! But it doesn't happen quickly, it takes sometime. However, some people aren't worth being nice to for a very long time. They may continue to spread their negativity, and those people are the ones you should eliminate.


At least that's what I think.

I think everyone probably has their own way of dealing with mean/rude/evil people.

A good piece of advice would be, never stoop to their level! No matter what don't give them the pleasure of being aggressive (or passive aggressive) in return. They've got years of experience, and they probably can do it better than you can.


"Don't try to be different. Just be good. To be good is different enough."  - Arthur Freed

Assertiveness

I am currently reading a book on assertiveness. I find it hard to be assertive in some situations, and I thought this book would help me understand it more.


However.


Thinking about my intercultural communication studies, is assertiveness a universal skill (like leadership) or is it more a western construct? Is westernization one of the causes of my desire to be more assertive?

It is a very hard question.


Silence means different things to many people. Can assertiveness mean many things too?

In the book, there is an outline of assertiveness, aggressiveness, passivity, and passive aggressiveness, with a set of behaviors that go with the lot.

In some Asian cultures, silence is marker of strength. So does being assertive in that setting will lead to people seeing you as "weak"?

Is assertiveness a sign of strength in some cultures, but weakness in others?

What is the case of assertiveness in the UAE?

That's a LOT to think about.Hopefully, after completing that book I will have a clearer pictures and be able to answer those questions better.

What do you think? 

WISE WORDS: on friendship

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival."

- C.S Lewis (1898 - 1963) - academic, novelist best known for The Chronicles of Narnia

I have been so busy with school and everything, that I haven't seen my friends in a very long time. It was good seeing everyone and catching up! Having people around you to relate to and have fun with is the most amazing thing ever. Friendship may be unnecessary but it is really valuable!  

Speechless

This picture rendered me speechless! Here is a man in the midst of destruction and possibly a case of war. What does he do? He reads the Quran. This is truly inspiring! A lesson to all of us who are frustrated by our daily hassles, turn to faith. 

Positive

What is positivity?

Are we more positive when we are happy?

What makes us happy?

Love

Ambition

Real  life magic

Beauty

Friends

Knowledge

Faith

Laughter

* in no particular order

LOVEMARKS: Inspiration

"I believe the most important thing any adult can do for a child, any leader can do for his or her people, and product can do for its owner, any event can do for its audience, is to inspire them."

Kevin Roberts, CEO Worldwide, Saatchi & Saatchi, Ideas Company

Lessons from my grandmother

My grandmother is one of my role models.

She has taught me many things. The most important of these I learned by observation.

My grandmother is/was a true Emirati bedouin. People of the desert. Unlike my grandfather, who belonged to the sea-faring folk. Later to be called "the civil". She did not always belong. Yet she made the most of her new environment. She adapted, she learned, but still she defines herself as a member of "the people of the desert".


There are many people to this day who belong to the family and the community who don't really like her. From what I've overheard from my mother and aunt, they are rude and despicable. How very civil indeed! (sarcasm intended).


Still. No matter what they say or do. My grandmother is gracious and hospitable. She is kind, and she never responds to their wrongdoings.


Now THAT is inspiring. Something a lot of people strive to achieve but very few actually do. To treat others as you would like to be treated. To be nice to people not because they are, but because you are.


This could be the greatest lesson I have ever learned from my grandmother. Perhaps my whole family even.

LOVEMARKS: Arab Countries

I am currently reading Kevin Robert's book "Lovemarks: The future beyond brands". It was a special gift from my uncle among other books by Kevin Roberts.

I think I'll be posting ideas and thoughts on what I read here on the blog every once in a while.

Here's what I found interesting from the first chapter:

"In the Middle East I learned lessons that have been invaluable to me about how to connect with consumers, and how to do it in a place where mass marketing was in its infancy.

I learned to love the poeple. In Arab countries yoy make friends for life. The people were genuine, emotional, family-focused, hospitable. They understood their traditions and the past, and they really understood that they had a completely different future. It was very exciting. There was little resistance to the new because they didn't have much of a present. They had a past and they had a future."

This made my think of what's happening in the Arab world. I think you can substitute the words "Arab countries" with a  specific name of any other Arab country and that thought would be just as true.

Thinking about the UAE I find that it applies perfectly. We know our history, we understand our traditions, we know that the future will be a lot different than that, but what about our present? I don't think that we don't have a present. I think where we are right now the lines between the past, present, and future are blurred. I am not what my grandmother was, I am not what my (future) children will be, but I am the bridge in between.





What do you think?