Toxic Waste

I have once said that some people are just toxic waste.

No one wants to be around toxic people or even to have a toxic friends. HOWEVER > In a survey by SELF magazine, 8 out of 10 people said they have endured a toxic friendship. What about you?

Do you have a toxic friend?

I think I've encountered my share of toxic people. Here's my very own guide on how to spot them.


1- Competition Crazed 
This friend seems to be always competing with you even when you don't know it. She competes for mutual friend's approval, academic/professional praise, and other people's attention. She almost never congratulates you on any job well done, and she will never share her accomplishments either - well only if she thinks they'll overshadow yours!
Most likely to say: "well if it weren't for you I would've gotten that...."
Most likely to do: Speak over you whenever you're telling people of your latest success no matter how small.



2- The Critic

Whenever you've got a new idea, this friend is the first one to tell you why and how it wouldn't work. If you talk about things you like, she's the one who's going to pin-point what is wrong with what you said. It doesn't stop there because to her everything about you is worth criticizing: hair, clothes, job, the way you talk.....  At first, you might think that she really knows better. However, with time you'll notice that no matter what you say or do she'll find faults in that. Some start doing this indirectly as a joke, others are vicious from the start.

Most likely to say:  "Oh a9lan....... [ACTUALLY]"

Most likely to do: Get annoyed (it shows) when they've got nothing to criticize or are proven wrong.

3- User Not-friendly!

She expects you to be a good friends, but doesn't expect that of herself. She might criticize you for something and expects you not be upset because as she says that's what good friends are for. Yet, come next week when she does something you criticize and she doesn't like it! She expects you to go out with her when she's free and you're not. However, next time she's busy she'll refuse to go out with you because of her "prior engagements". An extreme form of this type of friend will hang out with you when her other friends aren't available, but ditch you the moment they're there.Wake up! She's using you.

Most likely to say: "It's not that I didn't want to tell you.... but it was all very unexpected."

Most likely to do: Get mad at you for doing the same things she does.

4- Miss Green with Envy

She's the master of passive aggressiveness, especially when it's directed at you. You might say she's an extreme version of the competition crazed, but for her it's not only about the competition. She doesn't want to compete - she just wants it all for herself. She will compliment your clothes because she wants to know where you got them from. But other than that don't expect any more compliments. She often asks herself out loud: how come you get to have this or that and I don't. Believe me, it happened!

Most likely to say: "I wanted to something exactly like that! but I didn't/couldn't get it."

Most likely to do: Not tell/show you what she has been planning to do/wear/say - why? Psychologists call that projecting your own feelings upon others. This means she may genuinely believe you envy her too.

5- Gossip Girl (xoxo?)

This friends knows everything about everyone, and what she has to say isn't pretty. It's not about sharing harmless gossip, this is the kind of person who spills secrets and breaks promises. You might wonder what she says about you behind your back, because she probably is! Although past experiences and "tongue-slips" have taught you not trust her, somehow she manages to make you do!

Most likely to say: I won't tell anyone. Don't worry!!"

Most likely to do: Think who would want to know this piece of information and text them immediately. 

You might find these toxic qualities in a friend to some extent. Sometimes one or more of these can exist within one person. They are inspired by people I know and some by friends of friends I've heard about. Still this doesn't answer the question: what to do once you've spotted a toxic friend??

To be continued - How to deal with toxic waste?